To every woman in my network: No more dimming your light – you’re meant for MOAR!

I facilitated an evening workshop for a group of senior women in investment banking last week, and the theme was "Unleash your inner power". As I listened to the conversation unfold, I heard echoes of my own story and almost every coaching conversation I've had over the past eight years.

The same themes that led to my corporate burnout. The same patterns I see with brilliant female clients every week. The same exhausting internal battles that so many of us know intimately.

Here are the most typical responses I see when women feel under pressure:

• Getting defensive (labelled as ‘emotional’ or ‘aggressive’) when someone challenges their ideas (fight)
• Avoiding difficult conversations they know need to happen because they're too exhausted (flight)
• Going silent when interrupted in meetings and letting others take over completely (freeze)
• Saying yes to requests they want to decline and taking on extra work to avoid disappointing anyone, even when they're already overwhelmed (fawn)

(Note: Most of us know fight, flight and freeze. Fawn is the less obvious one – this is when you go into people pleasing mode, struggle with setting boundaries, your typical codependent behaviour).

I could have described my own behaviour during my corporate years using any of these examples. I spent decades caught in these same stress responses, overthinking, perfecting the art of making myself small, caring so much about getting it ‘right’ and being liked, that I nearly lost myself in the process.

I had all the accolades: the title, the pay cheque, all the external markers of success, but inside I felt empty and without purpose. I kept thinking: "There must be more to work and life than this."

It took a boardroom humiliation and burnout for me to finally say: "Enough is enough" and ask: "Who am I beneath all this performance?", and "What do I truly want, and why?" 

As women, we're nurturers – we act with heart. We care deeply, and that IS a superpower. But when that care isn't reciprocated, when it's taken for granted or seen as weakness, we get in our heads. We overthink. We start making ourselves small to fit into systems that were never designed for our whole selves.

The perfectionism trap I know too well

Perfectionism, a trap I know too well, was also a big theme last week. 

The truth is, perfectionism masquerades as excellence when it's really just fear in disguise. Fear of being judged, of not being enough, of someone discovering we're not as capable as we appear.

I lived in this trap for years - constantly second-guessing myself, rewriting emails multiple times, holding back ideas until they were "bulletproof." All while telling myself I was just being thorough.

Now I live by #progressoverperfection. I act with heart in the moments that matter, and my actions often feel messy and imperfect. I’ve learned to trust in the process and trust in my ability to figure things out. 

Stop making yourself small. Your 'too muchness' is your superpower 

I see it constantly – women apologising for their enthusiasm, tempering their ideas, shrinking their presence because someone once made them feel like they were too much. 

But here's the thing: when you make yourself small, you don't just rob yourself. You rob everyone around you of what you actually bring to the table.

What the world calls "too much" is often exactly what’s missing.

• Too passionate? Most organisations are dying for people who actually care. 
• Too intense? We're drowning in surface-level everything. 
• Too ambitious? Someone needs to dream bigger than only “going through the motions”. 
• Too caring? The world is pretty harsh right now.

The ripple effect of refusing to shrink

When you stop making yourself small, something magical happens. You give other women permission to do the same. Your willingness to be passionate shows someone else they can care deeply about their work. Your commitment to good enough gives someone permission to start before they're ready. Your authentic presence creates space for others to bring their whole selves to work.

This is how things actually change – one person at a time choosing to show up fully.

Your call to step into your power

Here's what I know for sure about every woman reading this: You are meant for more, and you are already more than enough.

You're called to more impact, more authentic expression, more of yourself brought to your work. AND you're already whole, already worthy, already enough exactly as you are.

It’s time to let your whole self ROAR!

I see this courage in women everywhere already. Starting businesses despite not feeling ready enough. Having honest conversations about capacity instead of just saying yes to everything. Sharing real journeys – the struggles, the setbacks, the small wins. Choosing authenticity over approval, progress over perfection.

Maybe you recognise yourself in this. Maybe you're the woman who finally spoke up in that meeting. Or set a boundary that felt scary but necessary. Or shared an idea you'd been sitting on for months. Or simply decided to stop apologising for caring deeply about your work.

So here's your invitation to step into your power:

Act with heart in the moments that matter. When that meeting needs your perspective, when your team needs your honesty, when your industry needs your innovation – show up fully.

Trust your inner compass. That voice that knows what's right, what's needed, what's possible – that's your inner Queen speaking. She doesn't apologise for her wisdom.

Face your daily tests with courage. Every day brings moments where you can choose courage over comfort, authenticity over approval. Choose wisely.

Make work magic inside and out. Your work doesn't have to drain you. When you show up authentically, when you stop dimming your light, you transform not just your own experience but everyone else’s around you as well.

• Your passion fuels change. 
• Your intensity cuts through noise with laser focus. 
• Your care transforms cultures with quiet strength.

The world doesn't need another woman making herself small. It needs you stepping into your full power, creating the change you want to see.

You have everything you need within you already. The question isn't whether you're capable and worthy – you are. The question is: Will you answer the call to your own epic adventure?

Please don't dim your light. We need your authentic magic to make work – and the world – better for all of us.

Celebrating all the women in my network who choose courage over comfort, progress over perfection, and power over playing small.

#Leadership #WomenInLeadership #CareerGrowth #AuthenticLeadership #ProfessionalDevelopment #ConfidenceAtWork  #ProgressOverPerfection #CourageOverComfort #ROAR #MOAR