Why was I so desperate to prove myself?

You may recall me telling you the story of that Monday morning, I remember, I was heading to the office, sitting in the traffic, I could feel my anxiety starting to build, I was tapping my hands on the steering wheel waiting for the lights to change.

I was torn. 

Desperate to prove myself and bring all the best I had to offer to my role, to keep my team motivated and focused on the task in hand. My mission was to deliver and deliver well! 

At the time I had many conflicting thoughts and emotions about heading to the office. I sat there planning my day and deciding how I was going to avoid the inevitable difficult situation I knew I was returning to and remain positive and in good spirits, for the whole day. I was psyching myself up so that I was ready and focused to bring my best and yet on the inside, I was in total turmoil.

I would remind myself that all these feelings were just because I was new to the environment after all my boss was the expert and on my side, successful, driven and a good example to all of us of how to do things. Right? The way it should be ... 

The way I strived to be, so I took it upon myself to be a good example, to be the person who communicated and cared and encouraged those around me. What I didn't realise was how much of an impact the environment I was working in was having on me. A continual drain on my positive energy, my tenacity tested at every moment. I remember questioning this and wondering if this was just the way things were in business ... I bet you've been there too. 

Over the years, my experience has shown me that the environment and the culture we work in has a massive impact on our own sense of self-worth and will either serve to help us grow and develop as individuals or constantly shut us down.

We all respond differently. My own experience in a toxic work environment took a massive toll on my relationships and my health (mentally and physically).

This is why I am determined to help others recognise the signs of workplace bullying early on and to take action before it is too late.

In my eBook, I share more about my story and the three things I needed to do to reignite my passion, things we all need to do to progress.

To download it ... click here ... 

- Marilise

PS: I have written a book called ROAR! How to tame the bully inside and out, due to be published towards the end of the year. Writing the book has been a massive part of my journey to recovery and finding my passion again. Look out for more information about this.