Returning to London for the first time in almost 2 years (Part 2)

Returning to London for the first time in almost 2 years (Part 2) 

I'm back home in Stellenbosch now, and still processing everything from my ten days in London and Velizy, France. What started as a normal business trip became something much deeper – a healing journey I didn't even know I needed.

The moment I remembered why I love what I do…

… It’s the start of the second day of my client workshop. I welcome everyone and share the agenda and objectives for the day when I notice half the room has laptops open, fingers typing away. The energy feels flat; participants are distracted. 

I stop.

"I need you to come back into the room with me," I say. "I don't feel like you're present, and this won't work unless we're all here together."

I pause until every laptop is closed and I feel the energy shift back into the room. The client sponsor gives me an affirming nod and smile. And then – magic. The discussion that follows is vibrant, productive, and real. People are leaning in, building on each other's ideas, co-creating solutions. 

I am proud of my courage to pause and demand presence – to ROAR! – because I know it serves everyone better. 

That moment took me back to 25 years ago, where I sat in a training room on my first day as an article clerk with an accounting firm. I instantly knew that I wanted to be the woman at the front – the one with the fabulous red patent leather high heels delivering the induction training. Three years later, I indeed stepped into her shoes to become the training manager for the firm. I could not believe I was getting paid to do what I love. Now, decades later, I am still doing what I love. 

This is what doing meaningful work on your own terms looks like - doing what I love, when I want to, where I want to, and how I want to. 

The readiness I couldn't force

Ten days of conversations with friends revealed something profound: I wasn't ready to face London before this year. Despite two opportunities to visit in 2024, something in my soul knew I needed more time.

But this year felt different. Spending time with friends across London, each ‘hallo hug’ with happy tears, each conversation layering healing upon healing. I was finally ready to see this chapter of my life with love instead of loss.

Something beautiful kept happening. I'd get home after seeing friends only to realise we hadn't taken a single selfie. At first, I felt a little gutted – I wanted to show everyone on social media these precious moments.

By the third or fourth time, I had to smile. I was so present, so engaged, so genuinely enjoying these reunions that it didn't even occur to me to document them for the world. The memories are imprinted in my mind, not my phone. That's the gift of being fully present

I remembered grief takes many forms

This trip taught me that grief isn't just about losing someone you love, grief is also about saying goodbye to a life you loved for 18 years. Mourning the version of yourself who built that life, even when you know leaving was right.

I've been grieving without realising it. The parks where I pushed the boys on swings. The familiar rhythm of London’s hustle and bustle. The community of friends who became like family. You can love what was while choosing what is.

My both/and breakthrough

For many years, I felt like I had to choose: England or South Africa. Love my old life or my new one. But walking those familiar streets, laughing with old friends, then boarding a plane back to the mountains I call home – I realized I don't have to choose.

I can love both. This is a both/and life, not either/or.

This realisation goes deeper than geography. Since starting my own business, I've had to give myself permission to think both/and in every area. We're raised in a corporate world of constant sacrifice – choose work or life, ambition or balance, security or passion.

What if that's the lie that's keeping us stuck?

I invite you to complete my work wellbeing survey

This either/or thinking is exactly what I'm researching for MOAR! Making Work Magic Inside & Out. How many brilliant people are trapped in false choices? How many are sacrificing parts of themselves because they've been told they have to choose?

The corporate sacrifice mentality – that success requires giving up what matters most – is what's creating the workplace wellbeing crisis. What if the path forward isn't about balance but about integration? About finding ways to honor all parts of who you are?

Join the study here – because understanding how to move from either/or to both/and thinking might be the key to transforming how we work and live.

Coming home whole

My 10 days abroad became a pilgrimage I didn't know I needed. I went back to teach psychological safety and came home understanding that my own psychological safety comes from loving all parts of my story – the London years and the South African return, the corporate climb and the entrepreneurial leap, the grief and the gratitude.

Sometimes healing happens in the places you least expect it. Sometimes going back is the only way to fully move forward.

And sometimes, the most profound transformation happens when you give yourself permission to love it all.

As I start writing Chapter 5 of MOAR! Making Work Magic Inside & Out from home in Stellenbosch, my heart feels expanded as I hold both worlds. 

Complete the survey here