Don't mistake my kindness for weakness ..

Kindness, not to be mistaken for weakness ..

I have been thinking through my obsession with bringing more kindness to the workplace and wondering how to overcome my concern that it may be perceived as weakness in certain environments. 

The purpose of this blog is to debunk that myth and demonstrate how important it is to be kind to ourselves first and to each other. 

I can remember sitting in a meeting with senior management, we were in problem-solving mode and having a debate about the best way to deliver our project. The unfiltered debate is in my opinion necessary to reach the best conclusion for the business. It is the kind of debate where 'the ego' can't be standing in the way or holding hands with our 'need to prove ourselves right'. Ever wondered why a conclusion is rarely reached in a meeting? Well needless to say this was another meeting where we ended up talking in circles for hours.

If you are anything like me, the dialogue that goes on inside your head afterwards can be more damaging than we realise. 'The Judge' that sits on our shoulder and throws commentary at us all day.

  • 'if only I'd said ..'
  • 'he thinks I'm an idiot'
  • 'no wonder I get nowhere in this place'
  • 'they never listen to me'
  • 'why am I such a wimp?'

I bet you've been there too, but how do we change this?

Kindness isn't about backing down or becoming someone who just goes with the flow, kindness starts with each of us being kinder to ourselves first. Being confident to bring our best self to the situation because we know we have something of value to bring. Showing up for the day with an attitude of curiosity and collaboration, and asking 'how do we solve this problem' rather than being riled by the individual who has to prove they are right or beating ourselves up after meetings or interactions with others because the conversation didn't go quite as we had planned or anticipated.

When we take care of ourselves and get clear on our personal vision for our lives it makes bringing your best to the business easier. Taking ownership of our path brings an emotional distance, an ability to see clearly and the willingness to collaborate to solve the problem. 

There will be times when you have to back down, times when you feel frustrated about a seeming lack of progress and times when you are moving forward at what feels like 100 mph. Each junction gives us an opportunity to check in with ourselves and figure out whether we are bringing kindness or judgement to ourselves and to others.

When we work or live in a toxic environment throwing fuel on the fire rarely gets the result we are after, instead if we choose to bring kindness, understanding, tolerance and curiosity to any given situation and to see it for what it is, it puts us in a very strong position where we are able to choose our actions rather than feel like we need to defend ourselves. 

The question for you today is,

How clear are you about your vision for your best self? This is about how you choose to show up every day and what you want your best life to look like. Once you are clear on this there are very few things that will hold you back.

I speak more about getting clear in my book which is due to be published later this year .. head here to stay in the loop >>

You can also read more about the three steps I took to take control of my life, how I tackled a very toxic work environment and changed the way I saw myself first, everything fell in to place from there .. download my Reigniting Your Purpose, eBook here.

Be kind to yourself today ..

- Marilise  


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