Sitting at my laptop, I found myself dithering .. it was a Tuesday, half term, the boys were busy playing games, the house was quiet, apart from Stella who was lying at my feet snoring her head off.
I had so much to get through that day and yet despite knowing what to do, all my training and commitment to productivity, to high performance, I just couldn't focus and get anything done ..
I decided to take myself to the gym thinking that my HIIT workout would do the trick.
That will get the blood pumping and I'll feel better and be able to concentrate, I told myself.
I'd been working out for 30 minutes and the phone buzzed away at me .. I'm not going to answer that, this is my time, time for exercise, not calls. It buzzed again, this time I took a peek at the caller - OMG its the office - am I supposed to be - Oh no! the penny drops, a conference call, I should be signing in - oh no - I can't do it now I'm at the gym. So I quickly finished my workout, hopped into my car and raced home, and dialled in, I'm so sorry I'm late!
I have been playing this scenario around in my head for days, beating myself up for not being on top of things that day, for being late to a meeting because I hadn't planned my time. I know that sometimes we all have bad days, that it's ok, not to be 100% all the time, I tell myself that I'm only human, but it's just not good enough for me.
Just as I'm letting it go, the voice of the judge appears. You call yourself a high performance coach, why can't you get the basics right. You are nowhere near where you need to be to help others, just give up, they won't listen to you, you should be leading by example .. blah blah blah .. and so I have learned to silence the voice, ignore it and tell the judge to be quiet.
The days when self-doubt starts to eat away at your resolve when you could just head back to bed and forget about the other things on your plate, those are the days that define you.
When we choose to step up despite a lack of confidence when we crack on with the job we were doing even though we doubt our ability to complete it.
Those are the days we are all capable of winning.
You see I believe that high performance habits are tested every day when life throws us curveballs, trusting in our ability to figure things out is the first step and despite our best intentions sometimes we just have to let go and allow the day to run its course.
Its what we learn, who we help along the way that teaches us about life and helps us hone those habits that ultimately lead to us becoming the best we can be.
Here's to living our best life.
I talk in more detail about high performance in my book ROAR! How to tame the bully inside and out, due to be published later this year. Please head over here to be kept in the loop and if you haven't downloaded my Reigniting Your Purpose eBook head here.