But I've done everything asked of me, I don't get it

How do I do this? is the question I was asking myself while I looked into my eyes in the mirror of the ladies. I had escaped for a few minutes just to regain my composure, to take a deep breath and gather my thoughts.

I had just left another meeting and was feeling very confused.

But I've done everything asked of me, I don't get it.

My team are pushing ahead and yet I feel like we are failing to deliver. 

Have I misunderstood the brief?

But I have checked this again and again and clarified the scope of the project.

This has been agreed and signed off ...  

I felt like the situation I was in was sapping the life out of me ... eating me alive! 

Add to this the conversation I had earlier with a member of my team who had once again been berated, she put on a brave face and got out of the meeting without an emotional outburst but by the time I caught up with her she was a nervous wreck, while telling me the story she was reduced to tears. I don't understand, she said, there is no pleasing him, one-minute things are going to plan and the next minute the goal posts have changed. What am I doing here? I think I've had enough ...

Her entire focus for the last 6 months had been to deliver this project, every step of the way she was frustrated because she felt pulled and pushed in different directions, her hands were being tied. She felt like she had come to the end of the road and that there was nothing more to be done ...

I couldn't help but feel that this was another good team member shot down in flames, someone highly valued on the team that we would lose. 

Accepting defeat was not an option ... there had to be a way to deliver this and to stand up for each other. 

I realised I had been standing there staring at myself for quite some time, I was wracking my brains ... analysing the situation ... considering all the options ... 

Maybe I've missed something? 

Have I pushed us in the wrong direction?

Is this my fault?

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this? 

Maybe he's right, I don't know what I'm doing ... 

Feeling this way day in day out eventually wore me down and I realised I was starting to believe it even though I knew it was rubbish! I am well respected in the business and doing some amazing things in the industry.

I felt like I was being torn in two every working day and had started dreading going to work because I knew that self-doubt would creep back in and my fear was that I would also reach the end of my tether.

I knew the culture of my work environment was eating away at my confidence. Something had to change and I had to take the next steps.

Been there? 

I would love to hear more about your experiences and would like to invite you to complete my survey or message me with more details about your story.

Please CLICK HERE to complete my survey.

If you want to know a little more about it then please scroll down and read more below.

INVITATION TO PARTICIPATE IN MY STUDY ON WORKPLACE CULTURE

I need your support, please. I am conducting a study for my book, Roar! How to tame the bully, and I would be very grateful if you would participate in my study.

In my eBook, you will have read about my own experience with workplace bullying and its toll on my relationships and my health (mentally and physically). That is why I am determined to help others recognise the signs of workplace bullying early on and to take action before it is too late.

If you have worked in a situation where you have been the Witness or Target of:

1. behaviour that is intentionally negative and malicious, whether physical or emotional, from one or more persons,
2. negative behaviour that is consistently aggressive and persistent, and
3. behaviour that is driven by another person’s desire to obtain control.

Then I would like to invite you to participate in this study.

This survey is being sent to individuals working in organisations across all industries worldwide. Your participation will help assure that the results generated present an accurate reflection of the prevalence of bullying behaviour in workplace cultures today.

TO COMPLETE THE SURVEY - CLICK HERE

The survey is anonymous and treated in the strictest confidence. You may refuse to answer any question or quit the survey at any time. It will take approximately 10-20 minutes to complete.

I’d love to get industry and country-specific analysis too, so the more responses I get, the better, so please feel free to send this link to your colleagues.

Thank you in advance,

Marilise de Villiers

TO COMPLETE THE SURVEY - CLICK HERE

PS: Although there may be no direct benefit to the participant, there are possible benefits to organisations and society as a whole. Leaders, managers, and human resource personnel may learn techniques for identifying, investigating, and managing workplace bullying. Potential benefits to employees would include improved mental, physical and emotional well-being. Raising awareness of workplace bullying could potentially benefit leaders and organisations by increasing employee engagement and productivity.